How to Write a Novel – In GIF Form

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Step 1 – Get a shiny new idea. 

It’s brilliant, it’s fully formed, and you’re totally ready to write it and make a million dollars. It’s going to be the next Harry Potter for sure.

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Step 2 – Write Like the Wind

Get that baby down on the paper. Drink about ten gallons of coffee, eat a copious amount of chocolate and use semi colons with reckless abandonment. Whatever it takes to bring that story to life.

 

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Step 3 – Read over your Novel

And figure out it’s actually…not very good.

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Step 4 – Take a few days to despair

Flop around a little, if you need to.

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Step 5 – Steel yourself for edits.

Arm yourself with colored pens and index cards. Strap yourself in with your sticky notes and your highlighters, it’s time to go to war. Er…edit, time to edit.

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Step 6 – Buckle down and get your edits done. Then send it out to beta readers.

Sit back and hope they don’t rip your baby to shreds.

 

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Step 7 – Receive the feedback. Cry a little. Drink a little. Decide all the feedback is wrong and you’re actually brilliant.

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Step 8 – Finally admit to yourself that the feedback might be right. Start on the edits. 

One draft, and then the next, and the next.

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Step 9 – Literally edit until you fantasize about setting the manuscript on fire.

Like actually.

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Step 10 – Finish your edits. Polish the words. All the words.

And realize…you’re finished.

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Step 11 – You’re finished! Celebrate, because you wrote a freaking book and you’re DONE.

It’s time to tell everyone how awesome you are. Take that, Grandma. You knew you could do this!

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Step 12 – Realize the next step is querying.

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And…that’s it. That’s ALL it takes to write a novel. No problem, right?

You got this.

 

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6 Comments

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6 Responses to How to Write a Novel – In GIF Form

  1. This. Was. Brilliant! Although I usually save the copious amounts of chocolate for when I start editing. I find the chocolatey goodness helps with the panicking when I realise how much editing is needed!

  2. Summed up wonderfully. (Though there might be throwing the darn thing under the bed for a year or two thinking it is a dead loss, then pulling it back out to finish the edits. – maybe using http://24.media.tumblr.com/bc410cbc7c0256e9930149160a8369c4/tumblr_mh2ls3okCW1ryfjs3o6_250.gif)

  3. Panda

    Haha! This is a wonderful guide. Hm..now, if only I actually write my ideas down before forgetting them the next minute. I would have this brilliant idea, thinking I would be this amazing, super famous author. Then I fantasize my life as a celebrity. After staring off into space with a stupid smile on my face, I realized that I forgot the idea that made me daydream for a couple of minutes (more or less). The process repeats. When the moment finally comes and I actually write it down, I realized how flawed the idea was. I would leave the idea, come back to it months later when I cleaned out my stuff. I reread it, cringe, and it goes to the trash.

    That’s my process. Very failed one at that.

  4. Brilliant! So many of the same feels. Nearing the end of the process of my first one now (after betas… yowza).

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